For the Coca-Cola kitchen

We are definitely the Coca-Cola family. (My husband works for them, but we’ve always been on the coke side). I, along with so many other people, adore the whole brand itself. I’m slowly growing my collection, and just added to it about 5 minutes ago. I thought I would share, it’s an uber easy DIY. It literally took me 1 minute to do. Best of all, it requires enjoying the product before use.

Step 1. Go to your local Mexican grocer or taqueria and order yourself a “Mexican Fanta”. (I suppose a Coke will work too, but the effect won’t be as awesome). Make sure it is a “Mexican” one. The one in the glass bottle (these taste waaaay better anyways)

Step 2. Enjoy it. (this step is required!)

Step 3. Bring it home with you.

Step 4. Rinse the bottle out.

Step 5. Add a corresponding color of dish soap. I used Fanta orange as my bottle, so naturally I filled it with Ajax orange.

Step 6. Do your dishes -____-

Here is my end result. I love the fact that this adds a colorful flair to a Coca-Cola decor!

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Another pic

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Enjoy, just make sure not to accidentally drink it. :)

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How to have your Thanksgiving Pie and eat it too

Weight loss has not been kind to me, although I honestly know I have not been kind to myself. I haven’t been trying like I could/should. But there comes a point when you just get tired of feeling so self conscious! My husband suggested I start to diet and excersize again after thanksgiving, after seeing me so upset every morning because my clothes don’t fit like I want them to.

But I am tired of the trap, putting it off till a later day! An easier time. After an occasion so I can have the treats! The start of a new week, month or even year! It is a vicious cycle that I subject myself to. That is the one rule in weight loss, YOU are the only one responsible for changing YOU!

I decided I am not going to wait for after Thanksgiving, I will start now! Here is what I am going to do, to keep myself from gaining too much weight this coming Thanksgiving:

1. Drink Water!
Before we reach our destination (many planned) I will drink a 16 oz bottle of water. Anything smaller wouldn’t work to quench my thirst (thirst is often mistaken for hunger) and anything larger would make me too full and may upset my stomach when it is time to eat. Drinking the water about 20 minutes before will help to curb my hunger a bit, causing me to eat less. The water will also help my body to flush out everything I am about to put in.

2. Quality vs Quantity
I love Thanksgiving food, and my family can cook! But this year it will be all about enjoying the quality of the food, and keeping an eye on the quantity.
When I serve myself, I will still load my plate. But it is going to be about 90% turkey (lean meat!) and other meats. 8% sides; because I am being realistic and I know I won’t want to say no to the mashed potatoes, cream corn, stuffing and all of the stuff that makes Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving. The other 2% will be for dessert. I’m not leaving it out, but I am greatly limiting it. So, yes, have your Thanksgiving pie and eat it too!

3. Water, again
It isn’t difficult to stay away from soda and juices! I am going to only be drinking water with my meals. I’m not a big alcoholic drinker, but this rule is especially important if you are. Alcohol is high in calories, and it is also a diuretic. The more water you drink, the better you will recover from the effects of it.

4. Timing
Timing is key, I won’t eat anything past 7 pm. that gives my body more time to digest/burn the food I have already consumed.

5. Movement
It is so easy to fall victim to a food coma. But this year, after I eat I will try and move around a bit! I want to stay away from that sluggish state that always hits me. Even if the effort is as simple as standing up and chatting with relatives instead of sitting down. I am going to try and burn every extra calorie that I can.

And don’t forget, the post Thanksgiving work out! I am going to hit the gym Friday, and continue to do so. It helps that I have a 4 day weekend. =]

Happy Thanksgiving!

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My husband has a problem

I’m sure every wife deals with it. My husband has a serious problem and I’m not quite sure how to handle or resolve it.

He farts, and bad!

I’m pretty much afraid to feed him anything that I know will set him off, including but not limited to eggs, garlic, beans, hummus, and even some veggies (broccoli in particular).

My daughter and I are at war, against the Fart Master and his spawn (yes, that would be my sweet innocent little 14 month old boy). My “baby” is learning to do the same, after seeing the reaction his father gets and the funny noises sissy and mommy make when they are essentially choking in fart air.

Funniest times/places for farting satisfaction:

During a business call-
It NEVER fails. I may as well lock myself in the room. Every.single.time. I am on the phone with business, here comes fart butt. He will cut the biggest, loudest fart right next to me. Im pretty sure the person on the other end of the phone thinks it is me! And of course, I cant help but laugh mid-sentence, which makes me sound like a total jumbled idiot with no language skills what so ever.
Fart master 1 Me 0

In the car-
I own a Chrysler Pacifica (meh) and of course, my 2 front windows are broken so they don’t roll down. What a perfect opportunity for farty mcfarterson to reaaaally get me, and get me good. I have no where to escape, no fresh air to save me. So he cuts them loose, and I swear they know exactly where my nose is. It’s like a punch in the face, and I can’t do anything to defend myself. Poor Mia sits right behind him. In my haze, I look back and see her desperately covering her little nose with her shirt. Andre on the other hand, will sit there with no change to his expression at all. It’s like he’s immune or something.
Fart Master 2 Mia/I 00

In the store-
Stand by wife. Fart loudly. Walk away.
Fart Master 1 Me 0

After a long day at work-
As we are chillin out on the couch watching the boob tube, the look of guilt is written all over his (handsome =] ) face. Before I can figure out why, it hits me. Literally. The fart cloud hits me. Sometimes I am able to escape, but most of the time it is too late.
Fart Master 1 Me 1 (upon escape, that is)

In bed-
As I am peacefully drifting off to sleep, I hear the dreaded blast. And then a giggle from my little girl who is out of reach (trader!!). AND THEN the fart fist punches me again in the face. Flatulent Freak is fanning his fart to my face (say that 3 times fast). But, alas! Protection!! I hide under the blanket (we do NOT share a blanket, I’m not settin myself up!)
He doesn’t DARE dutch oven me.
Finally… Fart Master 0 Me 10,000

Final Score:
Fart Master 5 Me 10,001

Because I always win

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10 ways to show your man you appreciate him

Many women wonder if chivalry is dead. I mean come on, dudes really open car doors and pull out chairs for women? Puh-lease, I can do that myself! is the attitude many women carry now-a-days. Yes, it would be nice to find a perfectly pristine gentleman. Truth is, most gals wouldn’t know what to do with him if he came knocking at her door with a dozen long-stemmed red roses.

Many relationships do lack that chivalry that makes your partner feel loved and appreciated. Here are 10 ways that you can show your man that you appreciate, love and most importantly respect him. If you feel that he is not deserving of these actions, then you need to seriously ask yourself “Why am I still here?”. Corny as they may seem, men love to be treated as the king of the castle. And hell, if he is holding it down the least you can do is let him know he IS the king of the castle!

10. Treat him to a back massage after an exceptionally long day at work

9. If you know he is hot and tired (especially if he has a manly job that requires his physical strength all day), put a mug filled with water in the freezer about 10 minutes before he arrives home.

8. Scrawl out an “I love you” with a kiss mark on a post it note and stick it in  his work shirt or pants.

7. Lay out his undies, tank top and socks for him while he is in the shower.

6. Have a nice hot dinner waiting for him when he gets home.

5. Throw in a “Yes, Sir” every now and again. (Honey: Did you put the laundry to dry, babe? Me: Yes sir, I sure did.) What better way to make your man feel like he is respected than calling him sir once in a while?

4. Fill his gas tank for him (bonus points if it is his man car)

3. Look up a fact or two about his favorite thing, and engage a conversation about it.

2. Buy yourself something new that you know will catch his eye. ( A sexy pair of panties, a hot new shade of lipstick, some jeans that accentuate your plump booty).

1.  Make sure to serve him first ALWAYS. Even if there are guests over, my saying is “Daddy gets served first”.

 Bonus Tip: Blowdry your hair or put your makeup on in your bra, panties and a pair of pumps. Even if you’re not in the best of shape, I’m sure your man still finds you hot. This is sure to drive him wild!

Most gals feel that catering to their guy is so last century. But being in a relationship, especially a marriage, requires selflessness. Give it a try and let me know how your man responded!!

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Keeping it cool with your man- post baby

If you have recently welcomed a new baby into your life (Congratulations!!) you may soon find out that this precious, bundle of joy is wreaking havoc on your relationship. I mean, come on, you are up ALL night and newborns cry a lot! Your spouse is probably jealous because your boobs (if you choose to breast feed) are now wrapped in KEEP OUT tape (and even if you don’t nurse, the milk won’t go away over night! Engorged boobs are THE WORST,back off buster!). The NO SEX (I can hear the screams of men everywhere!) for 6 WEEKS rule, might as well throw in the towel now! Mix in the extreme fatigue a new mother must also deal with, something a man will never ever in this world know (unless, of course, he spends hours getting rammed in the gut by a wrecking ball and then pushes said wrecking ball out of his butt.). That my lady, is a recipe for an ugly situation, IF you allow it to be!

I understand, it is very difficult to calm the raging bitch inside (sadly, our men seem to be the easy target when we turn into banshees). One thing I found that helps, besides taking as much help as you can, is to look at that sleeping baby (What? They sleep?!). Think about how blessed you are to be able to conceive, carry and deliver a healthy baby!

Make sure to give you and your spouse time together, even if it is just popcorn and a movie on the living room couch between feedings. Ask your man how his day went, show your appreciation and love for him. I know you are tired, but you only live once ( I always say I will sleep when I die!), why not make the most of your time here? I understand that some men (ok, most) are very unaware of things (such as the fact that our bodies are exhausted, or that we get depressed after we have a baby), so don’t be afraid to speak up. You will feel a lot better if you address an issue before it blows up into a fat, messy problem. Men get defensive easily, so if you are going to address something (even if it IS him), make sure to use “I” and “me” instead of “you”. Like this, “Babe, it makes me upset when I’m being ignored” instead of “You piss me off when you ignore me!”. Being in a bad mood is no reason to disrespect your significant other. Trust me, your bad mood will only spew off and make for a bad mood in the house. Take a minute to refresh your mindframe, even if the baby is crying. The baby will be fine (Run through the simple checklist: Fed- check, Changed- check, Burped-check. Baby may be tired, but a few minutes of crying won’t do any harm but tire him/her out more). Splash some cool water on your face, or brush your teeth. Pull your hair back into a pony tail and spritz some hairspray on your hairline and smooth it back so it feels fresh. Taking just a few minutes to do little things will make you feel so much better! Just a few minutes, when you most need it, will really prevent you from going over the deep end. Take it easy on your honey. If he is being a jerk, it is honestly best to turn on the ignore button. I find that if I am too upset and my man is being difficult to be around (I’m sure it is more me than him, but at the moment you don’t realize things like that) I can relieve my stress by writing about it. As corny as you may feel, write it (and really write it, let all that stress go) and read it when you are in a better mood. You may find that you were being unreasonable, it gives you a good feel of how you can come off when you are upset. Look for things that you can work on the next time around. I find that I sometimes feel embarrassed with how I sounded! (Just imagine if I would have actually let that anger explode on him, whew!)

When you are ready to do so, drop the baby off with a trusted loved one and go on a dinner date with your man. Doing this at least once a month can really give the both of you something to look forward to! My husband and I make it a point to go on vacation together once a year. With two children, it is fairly difficult (especially with cry baby Andre) to have our time together. With proper planning, you can catch a great deal to many vacation destinations (we love Vegas!) using sites such as Expedia and Travelocity. One good thing you can do to get some nice alone time is to work out together. I’m sure you have some excess baby weight (and if you don’t, suck my big toe!) to lose, why not run together every other day? It is also a great stress reliever! (Don’t work out too soon though, you need your healing time). It may be hard to do so if you work full-time, but even doing it twice a week will make you feel better.

Remember, a baby is an addition to your life. It may be rough in the beginning, but you will adjust and be able to pick right back up where you left off. Only now, you have a cute little person to ride by your side.

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The dreaded Plateau

Let me start off by saying I HATE dieting and working out! BUT I HATE being overweight even more!

I have really struggled with losing weight. I’ve been on a low-calorie diet for 11 days now and let me tell you, it has been anything but easy for me. I’m used to giving in and then feeling guilty and starting up the next day (I already screwed up, might as well start tomorrow right?), but there comes a point where even I get tired of my own antics. I’ve been longing for a slice of cheesy pepperoni and pineapple pizza, a strong sugary mocha pearl drink with that whip cream only a coffee house can give you (pearl drink=vietnamase coffee with tapioca balls), a hoho (need I say more?), chocolate covered strawberries (mmm) and a nice bag of cool ranch Doritos! But the guilt of knowing how many calories are in those delicious foods is enough to drive away that craving (thanks to counting my calories, I am SUPER aware of how much im putting in).
Even with my willpower slowly on the uprise, I am honestly STILL a little down on myself. Yesterday at training, I weighed in and still was at 140!! WTF I’ve been eating great and exercising, obviously that scale must be wrong! That’s when i realized that sometimes if you really want something, you gotta really (and I mean REALLY) dig deep inside yourself for it! Don’t let the scale discourage you (trust me, I wanted to give up right then and there!).

You know what I did after realizing my body has hit a major plateau(noooo, I will never let go of this fat!!)? I went to the store, got some low-fat yogurt (great for belly fat burning, throw it in the blender with some ice a protein shake and some fruit) and some apples to snack on. Then I came home, ate an apple with peanut butter for dinner (despite the fact that I was starving!) and did Round 1 of Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred. The only thing I could think of during that work out was EFF you Jillian!! My legs were numb, my arms were burning and my abs were tangled into a knot. I pushed and pushed and finally Jillian said, you just finished round 1! Perseverance paid off! I’ve decided to add the 30 day shred to my daily workout routine. Now it will be an hour of boxing and the 20 minute workout with Jillian Michaels. Let’s see what this does for me!

I’d advise you to go pick up a copy of Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred (about $10 at Wal-Mart and Target) and some light hand weights (mine are 3 lbs each and I am sore this morning). This workout had me sweating buckets (and nearly crying as well).

If you have noticed you are in a rut with your weight loss (known as a plateau in the weight loss world), kick it up a notch (or two!). DON’T give up girl! This is the point where your body has gotten used to what you are doing, and it is ready for a little umph. Do an extra set of reps, minimize one portion of a meal and up your water intake. If you can, run a mile or even just an extra lap around the track. Keep your mindset on the goal, don’t lose sight of it just because you haven’t seen a drop on the scale. Unfortunately, some plateaus can even last a week or two (push harder to speed it up!). Make sure to get enough sleep, if you don’t your body will try to hold onto its energy sources and you will struggle to lose the weight. Getting down to a goal weight is definitely not easy, but it sure as hell isn’t impossible either! Your hard work WILL pay off!!

If you are having trouble staying loyal to your diet and exercise regime, just remember

NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING THIN FEELS!!!

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Must have quick fix item

Dark circles under eyes? Razor burn? Varicose veins? Puffy bags under eyes? Cellulite?

As a female, we have experienced the above issues and they stress us out and irritate the crap out of us because they make us look less attractive. I have a quick fix secret that I make sure I ALWAYS have on hand. Ready?… hemorrhoidal Cream (ewwwww!!!). Creepy, maybe (but hey, it would only be nasty if you have actually used the tube for the intended purpose, right?) but it actually works and it works fast.

Dark Circles and puffy bags under eyes- The cream is meant to cool and calm an itchy bung bung (most creams contain an analgesic such as menthol that is very soothing). Rectal tissue is very sensitive, much like the skin found under our eyes so the cream can help calm those dark and/or puffy under eye circles. Be careful not to use too much too often, because a lot of the over the counter creams also include a steroid of some sort (GREAT anti-inflammatory, however prolonged use of topical steroids can have a thinning effect on skin making it more susceptible to sunburn. Ouch.)

Razor Burn- Whether it’s on the whoo-ha (can you say pain!?), legs, arms or armpits (face too?), it isn’t fun and it can be a real pain in the ass (pun on the hemorrhoid cream intended) to get rid of. Whip out your handy booty cream and gently rub it onto the razor burn. Once again, those nifty little analgesics will work their cooling magic to calm the bumps, anesthetics included in the ingredients of most creams will help to numb the pain and itch. The anti-inflammatory will also help to relieve swelling of irritated hair follicles.

Varicose Veins- This is what the cream is made for (after all, a hemorrhoid is a varicose vein where the sun don’t shine). If you have one (or two or three…) you know how much pain it can bring. Try rubbing the cream on while gently massaging in a circular motion, massages feel nice on painful varicose veins. 

Cellulite- I’ve even heard that the cream will help reduce cellulite. I’ve never tried it for this so I honestly can’t tell you if it works or not, but if it does Preparation H may just need to up their production.

Make sure to check the ingredients before you use ANY product to make sure you aren’t allergic. If you are on meds, check with your doctor before using to make sure it won’t interact with your prescription. This advice should not be used as medical advice.

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